Salute Your Toilet

Here's some fun trivia to marinate with...oh, my choice of words.

The next time you visit the bathroom, take a good luck at the toilet. (Not in it, silly. I said, AT it. But if you do both, I suggest you flush first.) Do you think about how it works? It may not look like much, but thanks to Alexander Cummings - the inventor of the modern toilet flush, it's an engineering marvel! Then again, Prague would still be in shambles had there been toilets in the 1600's.

This is an honest to G, true story:

"The year is 1618, the place, Bohemia. An angry mob of Protestant rebels is marching through the streets of Prague." (If you don't know where this country is on the map, LOOK IT UP!) Armed and dangerous, they cross the courtyard of Prague's main castle and storm up the stairs of the tower, where four Catholic ministers, councilors to the kind, are discussing the crisis. The mob crams into the small room. The terrified ministers flatten themselves against the wall, begging to be allowed to leave. Two of them are released. The other two remain, along with their servant.

Then someone in the crow has an idea. "Throw them out the window!" he yells.

The mob cheers with enthusiastic agreement. One at a time, the ministers are hauled to the sill and shoved out the window, fifty feet above the ground, followed by their unlucky servant.

This event, which became known as the Defenestration of Prague, was an open act of defiance against the king. It marked the beginning of the bloody and pointless Thirty Year's War, during which quite a few noblemen and thousands and thousands of peasants died. By the end of the war, no one actually remembered why they had been fighting in the first place, and things returned more or less to the way they had been before.

But here's the part most textbooks leave out. Those councilors and their servant did NOT die from the fall. All three of them survived. Why?

Because they landed in a huge pile of...yes, you guessed it. Poop. It was heaped beneath the tower window. We're not talking about pigeon droppings here, or even one deposit from a passing horse. Imagine a sizable mound it would have been in order to cushion a fifty-foot fall.

Now, wouldn't you like to know what the poop was doing here?"

Wise Words of the Week: Poop matters!
___________
Albee, Sarah. Poop Happened: A History of the World From the Bottom Up. NY: Walker Books for Young Readers, 2010.

Birthday Boy!

A BIG GIANT HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT TO...DANIEL M!!! Hope you had a fantastic celebration turning...12? 13? 19? 49?

And yet, I have not aged at all....how is that possible?


Yum. I like cake.

Carolyn (age 6) made birthday hats for you...these are her plans for her birthday party.

I'm not DEAD.

 In fact, I'm very much alive on this side of the country. I know, I know....I haven't written. (Thanks Jordan for the nudge and the kick in the shin. Ouchy.)

As it turns out, the east coast winters can be very mild. Can you believe it? The half-inch of snow that was left on the sidewalks have now dissolved and melted into tiny scatters of salt crystals after a long rainfall yesterday. The temperature is mildly in the 40's and I've put away my giant, puffy marshmallow-flavored down ski jacket. At least for now. You're probably thinking, "Why the heck is this crazy woman updating me on the stinkin' climate like a weather woman? Has Miss Lou gone completely mad? I know she must be losing it with all that marshmallow talk."

Though that may be all the cases, I'm maybe trying to distract you or make up a dumb excuse for not keeping this blog up to date. (Besides the fact that my dog ate my laptop. Really, she did. Okay. I know. It's not nice to blame my dog. Again. But wouldn't that be a sight to see? Rectangular shaped belly. Hee, hee. Ho, ho.)

Oh wait...Come back! Don't go! I've just been...daydreaming, okay? I've been...mesmerized by the winter sun and frolicking about outdoors with Veda Bee and friends and ice cream and spying on my neighbors. Okay? You happy now?! NO RECESS FOR ME!!!!

So basically, I'm sorry. I'll try to be better. Promise. But I'm back now. And I'm not dead. Or in prison.

A few weekends ago, I had the fabulous fortunate experience of attending the annual ALA conference held here in my very own city. It took place in this massive, airport-wannabe building with long carpeted hallways, over-sized paintings and most importantly, a Dunkin' Donuts. The talks and events were spread out on several floors, but the important part was in this giant warehouse. (From the floors above, you can get a bird's eye view of the entire floor space. Don't worry, the windows rid any temptation to spit...darn it.) Had it been an airport, the warehouse would probably be the room where the planes would sleep. That's what I was thinking when spitting didn't work. More on airplanes later...

ALA = American Library Association

It may sound like a big snooze fest to you, but with a wee $25, the fancy badge allows you to enter the warehouse thing to meet, greet and drool over famous authors (like Andrew Clements!), shake hands with agents, editors and publishers (like Arthur Levine, who published all the Harry Potter books!) and touch not-yet-published books for 2010. The best, bester, bestest part of the entire event is being able to slip free books into your free totebags...yes, FREE!

Just imagine going to the Scholastic Book Fair at Forest Park. Just imagine Mrs. Gifford handing you a giant canvas tote bag (instead of making you take off your backpacks and big thieving jackets) before entering. Just imagine her saying to you (very kindly), "Take whatever you want, kids. Stop by the refreshment table for some candy, stickers, posters and pens. And don't forget to  shake hands with your favorite author. He's signing books before the exit. Oh, yes. Of course you can have another tote bag. And here, have a free magic elf to carry your bags, do your chores and rub your tired feet." Oh wait.

But yes, the ALA event was so definitely MY idea of Christmas.

What? Who says I'm a nerd?! Not me.

Take care, read lots and write me soon!

Missing you all,
Missing Lou

(You happy now, J? Geesh.)

6 days in...359 to go!

Me: Wake up, Veda Bee! [Zipping up fleece and lacing up running shoes.] You're wasting away these precious days...only 359 days left before 2011.

What goals and transformations do you  have for this year?

VB: Leave me alone. Can't you see I'm sleeping?! [Rolling eyes. Closing eyes.]

Me: Hurry! Hurry! [Jogging in place.] Let's go! We have places to see! People to save! Things to check off! Calories to burn! Trees to plant! Animals to sniff! Money to earn...

VB: Ma...[Yawning loudly.] We have 359 days to think about all that stuff. Your coffee caffeine is really annoying.

[Stretching with butt in air.] Can't you just relax? I need a nap. [Returning to warm spot on bed.]

Me: Nap?! But you haven't even gotten up yet! [Pulling back covers.]

VB: So?

Me: But...

VB: I'm serious, Ma. Give me back my blanket. [Tug-o-war with teeth.] You know I'm not a morning person.

Me: Veda! It's 2010! You've been sleeping since New Year's Eve. I've been up since then...6 days and 6 hours...and counting...

VB: And for what? Working, running, working...blah, blah. Yawn.

Me: I've written 17 novels, watered the garden (and every garden in this city), paid taxes (for the next 3 years), had breakfast, met with the Pope, saved the world and found a gene to cure 67 different types of cancers. And I did this all while you were still sleeping.

VB: Breakfast? Breakfast?! You said breakfast! [Tail wagging, butt wiggling, tongue salivating...] Food glorious food...[Opening mouth and closing eyes.] Feed me, Mama!

Me: Ugh. [Heading to kitchen.]

New New Year's Resolution!

If only we can be as content as Veda Bee, we wouldn't have to write these silly lists year after year. But then again, there are too many things to do, places to visit and goals to accomplish outside of eating, drinking, pooping, peeping, sleeping and playing, ... wait ... hmm ... perhaps the animals have it all right. IS there more to life than all the 6 verbs listed above? Maybe I'd rather be a dog. Zzz... isn't she oh so cute!

Oh no, no...I'm certainly glad I am what I am when (during those rare occasions) I challenge myself, and then work hard at it, and then finally reach it. (Hey! Cleaning belly button lint doesn't count. ew) I almost never pity my role as human when looking forward to a special holiday, or vacation, or getting a good grade on a paper, or finishing a race, or making a new friend, or facing a giant ice cream sundae (mmmmouth watering, rich creamy goodness) ... oh, I love that moment right before my first bite when the heavenly angels hummmmm ... (Stay on topic, Miss Lou! Grumble, grumble). No way, I wouldn't trade my life for all the naps and tofu jerky treats in the world.

But most of all, I appreciate all those other human forms I've met along the way of my teaching years and crazy traveling adventures - including you (and with no sniffing required!)

Here are some helpful hints for another fantabulously, productive New Year:

1. Make a new year's resolution. (Stick to it.)
2. Drink lots of water. (Soda doesn't count.)
3. Run - rain, sleek, snow (ugh), or shine.
4. Write at least a page a day. (Not repeating the same word over and over.)
5. Read a book a week. (Not just the ones my teacher assigns.)
6. Eat healthy. (Marshmallows and Twinkies not included. Darn.)
7. Play less video games. (Especially when I'm procrastinating.)
8. Stress less. (Especially when I wait until the last minute to do something.)
9. Eat more ice cream. (Be generous with the rainbow sprinkles.)
10. Hang out with my friends. (And maybe try something charitable with them.)
11. Don't fall asleep during movies. (Especially when I'm hanging out with my friends.)
12. Do all my homework everyday. (Okay, at least 3x a week. Or when I feeeel like it.)
13. Stop procrastinating. (Clean out my mom's gross kitchen pantry. CHECK! Double ew.)

14. Watch less television and less frivolous YouTube videos. (And less video games, unless it's Wii. Or unless it's really, really funny. Unless I feel like it.)
15. Eat more fruits and vegetables. (See #9)
16. Tell the truth. Stop stealing my brother's things. (And that includes my friend's snacks.)
17. Make at least 5 new friends. Be kind to my friends. (No more "Your mama" jokes.)
19. Appreciate my life, health and all that I have regardless how much I want to complain.
20. Stick to my new year's resolution.

Now your turn. What will you change about yourself this year besides your height and hair color?

More stress? Less stress? Nicer? Adopt a dog? Join a volunteer group? Go to church? Read more? Write your memoir? Reach to the next level for your games? Learn a new language? What?! What?! Look farther...what is it that you WANT or look forward to in life?

My goal: Grow 5 inches, run a marathon (or think about it without dying) and...graduate!

Happy 2010!

Merry Holidays, 401!

Now THIS is something to be drooling over. But perhaps some of you would much rather hang out inside that Port-a-Potty from my last post? And since that's a live, actual-sized person walking in the background, it's HUGE. No, the gingerbread house,...not me. (But after a few holiday weeks, things may change.) This brilliant architectural madness is made with real cookies, Lifesavers, candy-coated candies, sugary gum drops, pastel-colored, floral-scented wafers, candy canes, frosting, ginger bread, and blah blah. There's enough room for our whole class to fit inside, I swear. My dentist is going to f-r-e-a-k.

Anyone stop at this place to gawk at other silly Americans, take family portraits, eat bad food, and buy unnecessary gadgets and gizmos of plenty? What you all doing now?! I miss you all! Stop by!

Merry Christmas, happy holidays and New Year and all that good stuffings. Mmmmm...yummm.

Stuffing.

Finally!

The proud City of (insert temporary name here) has installed what has been missing all this time. Perhaps my temporary place can now be called HOME forever. But honestly, who even needs a real house when you can have this to snuggle up in? What more clever things can they possible think of now? Great job (temporary name)! Absolutely brilliant. Jealous anyone?

A true meaning of the phrase home sweet home!

Miss Lou had a Thanksgiving Adventure

First it snowed, then we lost power and water, so we boiled snow for coffee and bucket showers.

Talk about a fabulous holiday!

Guess where Miss Lou spent her Thanksgiving week?

(Hey! No researching necessary!)

1. One of my favorite authors works in this state.

2. The name of its capital city is also a city in France.

3. This city is best known for their cheese.

4. The author writes for both children and adults.

5. The capital has 10 letters

6. It makes award-winning cheddar.

7. The name of the state comes from the French words "green mountain."

8. You better get it by now without Googling.

9. Monarch butterflies are native to this state.

10. The first log schoolhouse in this city stood at the foot of Shepard Hill.

11. Okay, enough hints already!

12. Time to guess!

Now, your turn.

Mr. Pumpkin wonders...

What's up, people?! What did you do for Thanksgiving?

Furry Friends

Who's ever heard of an albino squirrel?

In my neighborhood, there lives a furry white creature just this one. No, she did just fall into a bucket of flour. No, she did not get into a fight with a can of paint, but it does come in handy for a game of Hide & Seek during the snowy winter days.

What the heck is albino?

Albus means "white" in Latin. Albinism is a lack or complete absent of melanin pigment in your skin, eyes and hair. It is a form of hypopigmentary congenital disorder. Albinism results from inheritance of recessive gene alleles. The condition is known to affect mammals (including humans), fish, birds, reptiles and amphibians. Humans with this condition often get sunburned if they spend too much time under the hot sun. (Either way, you should always wear sunblock and hats!) Has anyone seen an albino squirrel frolicking in their neighborhood? Keep a look out and check this little furry friend out Facebook!

Can you guess what city this albino squirrel hangs out?

Inventions

There are some things in this world that are unnecessary. In some cases, people can make a fortune off those seemingly unnecessary and ridiculous things.

Don't waste your time. Don't waste your money. Don't be ridiculous.

Unless of course you can make a fortune too.

:(

Boston mourns. New York celebrates. Miss Lou remains passive.

Anyone wanna guess why?

Happy Halloween 2009!

Did you fill the night with hairy scary wigs, velvet capes, semi-permanent face gunk and fake blood?

Gosh, I hope so.

Did you eat all your candy yet? Did you lapse into a sugar coma after jumping off the walls like a psycho? Did you steal all your brother or sister's candy after s/he wasn't willing to trade all your Almond Joys away for Twix and Reeses?

Gosh, I hope nobody caught you.

What did you wear? Did you see anyone else sporting your same store bought costume? Did you steal all their candy?

Gosh, I hope not.

SEND ME YOUR CANDY!

Okay, jk. I never eat junk, remember? Ha.

Miss you all and wish I got to trick-or-treat with you that night!!!

Half

Happy 18th Sunday!

I'm off to brave the 49 degree-windy, rainy weather for my second to last half marathon race of the season. After this one, it's the LAST before the weather drops to ugly.

Wish me luck...

Miss Lou

My usual goals: 1) Embrace every mile, 2) finish without dying and finally, 3) finish without killing anyone. Oh, and 4) Smile at the cameras.

Nobel Peace & Other Wild Things

Congrats to our fabulous President for winning and accepting the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize! Congrats to Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers for writing and releasing the film from Maurice Sendak's infamous Caldecott-winning children's book "Where the Wild Things Are." (You better remember that book from FP!) I suppose it makes little sense to merge these two diverging pieces of news together, but for President Obama's daughter Malia, that may not be so unusual.

On the day of the award ceremony, Malia, age 10, congratulates her father then proceeds to remind him it's Bo's birthday and that it's going to be a 3-day weekend. (Named after the singer/performer Bo Diddly, Bo is the Obama family dog.) Never mind that her father is the fourth president to ever win this prestigious and honorable prize. Never mind he's the third sitting president to win, or that he's the very first to receive the award as a freshman in office. In winning, President Barack Obama joins the elite group of others such as Mikhail Gorbechav (in helping end Cold War) and Nelson Mandela (in his great efforts to end apartheid.) But to his daughters at home in the White House, President Obama is just a good ole' humble and fun loving dad. Aw, shucks...

As a 48-year-old first year president, Obama has more pressure and expectations to take on now. Many believe he was undeserving of such prestige. Some believe it wasn't enough to be selected for simply his efforts and inspiration. But the President was chosen for his “extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples" and he accepted the award as "a call to action." He continues his efforts for change and charity by donating his $1.4 million to charity.

President Obama hasn't yet decided where the money will go...who should he donate this money to? (Sorry, video games, trendy footwear, new sports equipment and junk food fails to fall under the category of charity!)

Three loud cheers for our great and Noble President! King of the Wild Things!

Let the Wild Rumpus Start!

Choices

Happy Sunday, Kids...(or are you now teens? Pre-teens? Yikes.)

What will you do today? Some of you will make warm sticky buns for your family, stay indoors to master that last pre-algebra problem, tinker keys on the piano to warm up those stiff fingers, tackle a few chapters in that (required) book by choice, or decide that today will be the day to build a rocket ship, finish writing your fancy research paper on AEROSPACE ENGINEERING or learn Arabic. Keep IT up, geniuses (and don't forget my bank account number when you make the millions!)

While the rest of you...will sleep in, scarf down a bowl of lucky Captain Crunch or crunchy Lucky Charms in front of cartoon reruns with sleep still tangled in your eyelashes and then spend the rest of your lazy Sunday playing video games in comfy pajamas. But unfortunately, most of you have strict parents that would never allow for sugar cereals, but instead give you a bitter lecture about your lack of work ethic while forcing plain soggy oatmeal, fried eggs with oozy yolks, spinach pancakes and more nagging down your throat. Prizes don't come with those healthy foods and if it did, your little brother or sister would probably have beaten you to it anyway. And if so, you are one of those students who are then dragged to church with ungroomed hair only to get another lecture in the car when you've forgotten your bibles - yet again! You will then try to keep awake during Sunday school, putting more effort in disguising those uncontrollable yawns, only to wish you were still under warm covers and slumber.

Life as a pre-teen can sure s-u-c-k.

Which kind is your Sunday? And how would it be different if you didn't have unreasonable parents and annoying brother and sisters and strict teachers and God down your back and under your skin?

Jai Ho and Jia Yo!

Miss Lou

6-7th Grade: Above & Beyond!

Hello 401,

Thanks for keeping me updated on the dis/likes of your lives and filling me in on the wonders, curiosities, emotional mysteries of your great adventure at Middle/Junior High School (M/JHS). It gets more competitive and harder as the years add on, but once you get used to the different subject and periods, varying personality of teachers, mastering the transition minutes between classes and hours of endless assignments and projects and readings and calculating and dissecting, it's not so so bad, right? (Phew, I'm tired just thinking back on my experiences...zzz.)

In no time, M/JHS will all be over. Some of us love school: the smell of newly sharpened pencils, the hopeful feel of blank white paper and the sour smell of student lockers (ew). Some choose to continue onto more school voluntarily while others loathe at the mere thought of heeding to annoying bells, getting pushed and shoved through crowded hallways, and cringe at the sight and smell of lab goggles and used textbooks.

Advice? Well, you'll just have to continue feeling all these wondrous sensations, giving into each teachers' expectations and trying your absolute best in discovering what you enjoy and do best. (Really, the key is to find out what the teacher wants and begin first by abiding, then adding your own personal and brilliant flare.)

Once you find * IT * - school life will turn into something you look forward to, rather than despise. The IT factor is something that you can't wait to keep on doing. IT instills passion and interest. Once you find IT, time will no longer exist. Great artists feel IT when they draw, paint, play music or write. Biologists and doctors feel IT when they look inside a microscope, splitting cells or holding a scalpel against flesh. Athletes feel IT when they pass through the finish line and break their Performance Record. Musicians feel IT when they write a new song or feel the high energy of their fans on stage. Origami enthusiasts feel IT when they discover a whole new fold, or complete an impossible structure with paper. Animal activists feel IT when they save a whale from endangerment, or cast a broken bone on a naughty puppy. Chefs feel IT when they "wow!" their customers with new recipes and wake the taste buds with great sensations.

Teachers and professors feel IT when their students discover their very own IT. Eaters feel IT when they eat. Sleepers feel IT when they sleep. Veda Bee feels IT when she passes out after eating too many stolen treats. Well, you get the picture...

When do you feel IT? Not happening? Give it time. Explore more. Take more risks. Work hard. Play hard and don't forget to take time for a(n) (un)healthy snack and a long nap as reward.

Keep writing!

Miss Lou

S is for Shediac

Great job Daniel for getting the answer for the last posting. Yes, it helps to research! Now that school is well into it's first weeks, how is middle school?!

Hope all is fabulous!

Miss Lou

F is for Fisherman in...

What C-letter country is this brave lobster man looking out to? He just left a dozen lobster pots out to sea and is checking out if the buoys are still floating safely.

Behind him lives the largest lobster in the ___ but no worries, he's friendly.

What city/country did Miss Lou visit this summer?

Hint: Country starts with C. City starts with S. One of the Maritime provinces. (I think I gave you too many hints!)

Miss Lou's Back!

Yes, this is me. Just lounging around doing my usual summer reading and enjoying the warm weather in my flip-flops. Where is Miss Lou hanging out on this rickety rickshaw? Guess!

The last entry was the Golden Gate Bridge! Congrats Pichu, and yes...let's get together!

Miss you all and we're in the middle of summer!